


Four Times Gawain's Comedic Genius was Ignored (and One Time it Wasn't)

by TtotheCofA



Category: Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons), Mystery Skulls Animated
Genre: ((I don't have time to throw in context here)), ((actually for a writing prompt on Tumblr)), ((but if you can enjoy this for what it is without context that's great)), ((for a very specific crossover AU that I have become deeply invested in)), ((this is another fanfic that was written by me for me))
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TtotheCofA/pseuds/TtotheCofA
Summary: The problem with comedy, Gawain supposed, was that your audience needed proper context for a joke to land.Which was an absolute shame, because he had access to some real zingers.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	Four Times Gawain's Comedic Genius was Ignored (and One Time it Wasn't)

**Author's Note:**

> > _non-angst prompt for the super ghost au? how about the eternal struggle (before they become known) of making ironic jokes and puns that someone in the know for Gawain would find BRILLIANT (or at least major groan worthy), usually about being dead/spirit, but any number of personal topics (like, idk, being ace? reptiles? asdfkl im blanking on ideas), except none of these supers even NOTICE because they all still think he's a robot and don't know any of those personal things about him yet._  
> 
> 
> Answrs of Tumblr your challenge is ACCEPTED. 

“Wow...and I thought Tempo was a _ghost town_.” Gawain brushed aside a dried out vine that hung down from a hole in the equally crumbling ceiling. He was only mildly disappointed with the utter lack of reaction his wordplay received. After all, they were here for a fairly serious reason. “How can we be sure LeFay will show up here? It looks like no-one’s been down this way in ages.”

“The clues we found narrowed down to only three places, and this is the only one among them that hasn’t been picked over by thieves and archaeologists.” Zatanna called back from further up the tunnel. Blimey, how could she move so fast in those heels? Probably helped that she was the one carrying the lantern. “Plus, Morgaine LeFay can travel by portal. Just because it’s still dusty and undisturbed here doesn’t mean no-one’s gotten in.”

“...fair point, that is.” Gawain admitted as he hopped over a tumbled pile of wall bricks and dirt, and jogged to catch up. “Also, a thought: How’s Batman supposed to catch up with us?” The hero waved a hand around at the dozens of open pathways that lined the hall, through which, they had been ducking and dodging through like a chase sequence for the past hour. “This place is a bloody maze.”

“He’s Batman.” Zatanna shrugged without looking up from the enchanted map that guided them. She hoped it was accurate. She’d had to spend a dreadful twenty minutes in conversation with a shady goblin to obtain it. “I’d wager he’s already waiting for us at the vault.”

“I’d take you up on that, if I had any money.” Gawain made a bit of a show of fanning out his cape. “No pockets, you see.” Zatanna cracked a smile, and waved her lantern down one of the pathways. Gawain let her enter first, and then followed behind, ducking his head slightly to avoid another dangling root.

* * *

* * *

“Starting to wish I’d taken your earlier bet.” Gawain mused under his breath. “I would’ve won it.” Zatanna hushed him quietly, and very carefully set her now-doused lantern down on the stone floor. Just ahead of them, a pit yawned in the old stone, with jagged edges fresh from the breaking, and a soft yellow light shining up from deep within. Gawain silently adjusted his gravity, and levitated his heavy metal boots off the floor.

“We should wait for Batman.” Zatanna decided in a whisper. “We shouldn’t go ahead without backup.”

“Who needs backup,” Gawain whispered back, drifting sideways in the air as if he were simply lying down, and pointing back at himself. “When you’ve got this _ace_ up your sleeve?” He paused for affect, but Zatanna only looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “....me. I meant me. I’m the ace.” Gawain’s shoulders sagged, and he shook his head. “No-one ever catches that...” He lamented out loud before fading out of sight, and sinking down through the floor. Zatanna pinched the bridge of her nose.

This could only end badly.

* * *

* * *

“So, ah-” Gawain paused to phase through another car-sized boulder. “Have I thanked you yet for not saying ‘I told you so’?”

“You could stand to do it a few more times.” Zatanna shouted over the sound of the boulder shattering against the wall. “Do it enough and I might be inclined not to say it!” Whispering under her breath, she waved her wand, and a band of magic shot out to loop around the golem’s arms. It held for a second or two before snapping under the strain, and Zatanna threw her hands up in frustration.

“In my defense-” Gawain whipped up a burst of air to deflect the boulder this time, and the golem that threw it roared in rage. “I had no way of knowing we would summon a beastie this big that fast.” Even for powerful magic users, summoning spells usually took at least some time - a few words, devoted concentration, etc. It was almost unheard of for something this powerful to just be left lying around.

“Well, now you do!” The magician tried to circle around the golem as it hurled another rock at Gawain, infuriated by its seeming inability to hit this annoying target. “I don’t suppose you’ve got any more bright ideas in that head of yours?” Gawain’s mind raced. That was a very good question, actually. His optical display scanned the golem’s form, looking for anything they could use, and finally zoomed in on a small spot of glowing yellow in a crack at its shoulder.

“Sadly, no.” Gawain phased through another boulder, and sped to Zatanna’s side. She wasn’t going to like this….hardly anyone did. “I think it’s high time we _ghosted_ this golem.” The hero wrapped his arms around the magician, and yanked her back, channeling his powers to turn them both intangible, if only for a few brief seconds. The golem’s fist slammed down into the ground where they’d been standing, and shattered the floor into tiny shards.

On the other side of the wall, Zatanna gave Gawain a hearty, metallic _SMACK_.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.” Gawain winced internally as Zatanna shook out her hand. “I keep forgetting that living things hardly ever enjoy that.”

* * *

* * *

“On the bright side, it isn’t LeFay, right?” The magical binding pinning his arms to his sides was rather uncomfortable, even with his pressure sensors temporarily turned off. He’d have to mention that to Vivi. Perhaps it was a mental thing, rather than a physical one?

“A god of chaos isn’t much of a bright side.” Zatanna countered from where she hung beside him.

“Isn’t much of a-?” Isfet made an offended noise, and threw the trapped heroes back against the wall. Luckily for Zatanna, Gawain landed on the bottom. “How dare you! I am Isfet! Chaos embodied! Bringer of-”

“Long-winded introductions and short tempers?” Gawain interrupted, hoping to keep the deity’s attention away from the shadow detaching from the wall behind them. The air crackled with fury as Isfet gnashed their teeth, and threw out their hand to magically grab Gawain, specifically, and pin him hard against the ceiling of the chamber. The stone bricks cracked from the force, and Gawain was pretty sure his helmet did, too.

Good thing there was nothing vital in there.

“I’m about to become the bringer of your end, child.” Isfet hissed, curling their outstretched fingers into stiff claws. The magical binding began to tighten, and Gawain winced as the metal of his suit began to creak. He was...actually starting to feel a bit short of breath. Could the magic bindings affect him even through all the enchantments on his suit? He made a mental note to bring it up with the family when he got home.

“You seem to be of low _spirits_ , my guy.” He wheezed out. Oh. There went his left elbow joint. “Was it something I said?” Isfet’s face twisted into a furious scowl, but before they could crush the mouthy hero like an old tin can, something sharp and fast sliced through the dim light, and sank into their chest with a dull _‘shnk!’_.

The batarang beeped once before emitting a powerful electric shock, and Isfret cried out in pain as their concentration was shattered. No longer held to the ceiling by an unseen force, Gawain dropped a few meters before he was able to catch himself, and wiggle his way out of the loosening bindings. The manifestation of Isfet shuddered and twisted, until - with a furious howl - it disintegrated into nothing more than a pile of sand, and a slightly smoking batarang.

Gawain cautiously approached the pile, and when it remained inanimate, bent down to pick up the batarang.

“So...do you have contingency plans for all the gods?” He asked. Batman brushed dust off of the shoulder of his cape, and took back his weapon.

“I have contingency plans for everyone.” He replied evenly.

* * *

* * *

“You mouthed off to an Egyptian god?” Arthur gave his brother a small, crooked smile, as if that was the most ridiculous part of the story he’d heard so far.

“Well, not really. See, historically, Isfet isn’t so much a ‘god’ as they are a concept of the opposite of Maat-” A large black paw plastered itself across his face, and Gawain obediently fell silent.

“Suffice to say, even concepts, when afforded enough belief and time, can manifest.” Mystery withdrew his paw, and tucked it neatly under his body, as he had the other three. “And, as with any powerful supernatural creature, invoking their name is akin to shouting from the rooftops that your front door is open.” The kitsune gave the hero laid out on the table a very pointed look, and to his credit, Gawain’s optical display flashed into a sheepish expression.

“Right, sorry.” He apologized. Arthur fiddled with his tools for a minute more before disconnecting the last of the wires, and easing off the suit’s left arm up near the shoulder.

“Alright, you can sit up now.” He said, pushing back from the table and rolling across to his work desk in the chair. “If you don’t mind going without an arm for a little bit, I should be able to get the spare polished and ready by lunchtime.”

“Sure thing, bro.” Gawain shrugged as he swung his legs off the edge of the table, and levered himself into a sitting position. “I’m a righty anyhow.” Mystery stood up from the floor, and made a show of stretching his limbs and bouquet of tails (though he resisted the urge to yawn).

“Well then, if you’re going to stay in the suit for now, I’m going to go find a softer spot to nap.” The kitsune shook out his fur, and quickly smoothed down a few out of place hairs on his chest before shrinking down to his usual, smaller size. “One of which would do the both of you good, I’ll add.” He cast both brothers a knowing look, and Arthur avoided eye contact by lifting his feet and spinning his chair around to face the desk.

“Oh, and by the way,” Mystery paused with one paw on the garage steps, and turned to look back at Gawain. “What happened to, ah, ‘the god’, after their manifestation was disrupted? Were you able to seal them?” Gawain shook his head.

“Now you know that’s _whistling in the wind_ , Mystery.” He replied. Arthur let out a short bark of laughter before he could contain it, and hunched further over the arm he was taking apart. Gawain brightened up, and threw up his remaining hand. “Yes! Thank you! I’ve been trying to get a laugh out of people all week!”

Mystery shook his head fondly, and hopped up the steps into the attached apartment.


End file.
